word pairing: nuanced doubts

With the passing of cicada madness, you are now ready for another stirring installment of Word Pairings.

The ack/nak blog traffic log (which I compress into the wonderfully glottal 'bloglog') reveals to the careful student (me) just how stunningly popular Word Pairings has become. To which I say, well done (me). Self-congratulation is one sign of a healthy psyche.

Today's pairing is:

Nuanced doubts

Most recently spotted in an article by Independent UK reporter Johann Hari, this pairing takes on a special, poignant life to those of us who can instantly summon a mental image of M. Buckley:

The audience cheers Podhoretz. The nuanced doubts of Bill Buckley leave them confused. Doesn't he sound like the liberal media? Later, over dinner, a tablemate from Denver calls Buckley "a coward". His wife nods and says, " Buckley's an old man," tapping her head with her finger to suggest dementia.

An earlier use of this pairing dating back to October of 2001 in The Atlantic was ascribed to none other than William Bach, famed buddy of Godel and Escher:

After the meeting Bach expressed some nuanced doubts about the process of returns , the current means of re-integration of wartime refugees that has become the focus of international ambitions for Bosnia.

On their own, the constituent elements of nuanced doubts are perfectly energy-neutral:

nuanced (adj.)
Synonyms: nuance, gradation, shade
These nouns denote a slight variation or differentiation between nearly identical entities: sensitive to delicate nuances of style; gradations of feeling from infatuation to deep affection; subtle shades of meaning.

doubt (n.)
1. A lack of certainty that often leads to irresolution. See Synonyms at uncertainty.
2. A lack of trust.
3. A point about which one is uncertain or skeptical: reassured me by answering my doubts.
4. The condition of being unsettled or unresolved: an outcome still in doubt.

Taken together, the two contrarian uses of nuanced doubts provided above highlight the challenge of this word pairing.

• To some, nuanced doubts are perceived as a sign of defective, uncommitted thinking and potential senility.
• To others, nuanced doubts are a sign of intellectual honesty in the face of red-faced knee-jerkism.

As a result, this particular word pairing is the equivalent of a land mine unless you possess complete and perfect knowledge of your listener's peculiar point of view as it relates to the subject of your observation.

Examples to follow.

word pairing: feckless stooge (with EULA)

Hi there. It's time again for Word Pairings. Let's get on with it, shall we.

As this word pairing is bound to cause some controversy, a few ground rules first.

1. Word pairings and associated exampli gratia are offered "as is" without any warranty as to their performance, quality or fitness for any particular purpose. The reader assumes the entire risk as to the quality and performance of the word pairings.
2. In no event shall I or anyone else who has been involved in the creation, development, production, or delivery of these word pairings be liable for any direct, incidental or consequential damages, such as, but not limited to, loss of anticipated profits, prestige, reputation, personal injury, sudden mutation, loss of employment, death of your dog, or any other result stemming from the use of these word pairings.
3. Word pairings are provided for entertainment purposes only, and are not for resale.
4. Word pairings are provided in English (American). Translation is not recommended, but could be pretty funny.
   
5. In the event of an adverse event, the reader is advised to make up a phrase that sounds a lot like the word pairing, or use the one provided with the word pairing.
6. In no event should the reader presume that the author of the word pairing would actually use the word pairing, or is thinking of anyone or anything in particular while creating the word pairing. Please refer to #3 above.

Whew!

Tonight's word pairing is

Feckless stooge

(recovery phrase: reckless kludge)

One of the earliest identifiable attributions of feckless stooge goes to Hezekiah Jones on October 11, 2003 at 1:06 AM. An earlier, more illustrative use by Charles Cooper on May 16, 2003 at 4:00 AM reads:

By the mid-1990s, Kahn was gone and the [Borland] CEO's office had turned into a revolving door with one feckless stooge followed by another.

There are two points to be learned from Mssrs. Jones and Cooper:

1. Feckless stooge is a show-stopper of a word pairing.
2. It must only be used in the wee hours of the morning (see below).

The nastygram that is feckless stooge owes its power to its roots:

feck·less (adj.)
1. Lacking purpose or vitality; feeble or ineffective.
2. Careless and irresponsible.

stooge (n.)
1. The partner in a comedy team who feeds lines to the other comedian; a straight man.
2. One who allows oneself to be used for another's profit or advantage; a puppet.
3. Slang: a stool pigeon.

Individually, feckless is a two syllable blunt instrument, and stooge carries the quaint aroma of mid-20th century comedy teams and hackneyed gangster slang.

Collectively, they need to be placed under glass and festooned with warning labels.

The paucity of identifiable written uses of feckless stooge is evidence enough to suggest this word pairing is on someone's DO NOT USE list of poisonous adjectives, along with ass hat and [REDACTED].

If you must use feckless stooge in a conversation, do so sotto voce and with the benefit of electronic voice obfuscation while wearing a black hoodie sweatshirt and standing behind a large pillar in a dark parking garage.

If you must - G-d forbid- use feckless stooge in writing, do so only on flash-paper, or in the wee hours of the morning. Such usage may be plausibly denied later as "it was really late, and I was really, really tired/drunk/stoned/channeling Boss Tweed".

Or, you could just be an a-hole and use it willy-nilly. It's really your call.

Examples to follow.

word pairing: classy sophisticate (updated)

Hello, and welcome back to Word Pairings. Tonight's episode is brought to you by. . .awww, who am I fooling. I'm doing this for free.

Tonight we turn the dust-speckled spotlight of a methadone-addled intellect (not mine) on a word pairing you can dress up in any number of interesting ways:

Classy sophisticate(s)

Want to go ironic? Use classy sophisticate(s) to characterize the boorish louts who dare to compete with your company. Best applied after said louts do something particularly boorish, like hire booth bunnies. Mmmm. . . bunnies.

Feeling a bit self-deprecating? Turn it on yourself, perhaps to describe your penchant for wearing blue jeans every day, every week, accompanied by a black corporate-logo polo shirt.

Want to play chicken with HR? Naw, you'd never want to do that. You're too. . . classy. And sophisticated. Especially if you considered impugning anyone with this word pairing. As an anonymous reader from Vallejo (or just logging in from there) wrote...

Hate is a four letter word. It doesn't matter how one dresses it up or pairs it up with different words; it's ugly, it's dishonest and it makes people feel bad.

If you going to be a hater, be up front. Don't be coy. Don't be shy and don't play chicken with HR.

So please. Use classy sophisticate(s) with care. Don't be a hater. Be a. . . classy sophisticate.

Examples to follow.

word pairing: boring mumbly

Choosing the right word isn't quite as easy as matching socks, but with a little help and some practice you can wow the kids down at the soda shop with language that'll make George Will sound like a narcoleptic circus carny with Tourette's.

The first step on your Road to Erudition is to explore novel word pairings. Used correctly, your lips will tingle from the spiciness of your conversation.

Tonight's word pairing is:

Boring mumbly

First used by Whitney Pastorek on July 23, 2002 to compare different types of "readings"

We've all been to boring mumbly readings, and we've all been to happy fun exciting ones.

this zippy two-fer holds tremendous potential. It's evocative, memorable, and best of all it forces the speaker (and the listener) to slow down. Don't believe me? Try saying boring mumbly five times fast.

Take your time, linger over the words and they will reward you, even in the middle of a more fast-paced sentence (for the advanced practitioner only).

Another asset of this pairing is the way saying it makes you look - laconic, knowing and worldly, and dare I suggest it, aristocratic. Feel the way your face moves under the influence of boring mumbly.

Combine boring mumbly with a sweeping gesture, perhaps that of a hand holding a glass of wine (red, Bordeaux).

Use boring mumbly sparingly, never with the same individual twice.

Examples to follow.