news: my new adventure

I'm not quite sure how to tell this story, so I'll be brief, start at the end, and leave the beginning for another day.

I'm working at the Smithsonian Institution's National Museum of Natural History as the product manager for the Encyclopedia of Life.

A few years ago Edward O. Wilson asked attendees at TED to "imagine an electronic page for each species of organism on Earth." Some brave people took up that challenge and a year later EoL was launched. If you want to learn more you can visit www.eol.org and poke around.

It's audacious, it's meaningful, it's a long way from finished - actually, it will never be finished, and that's part of what makes it so special. If we do our jobs correctly it will change the world. I'm honored, delighted and extremely humbled to be a part of it.

hello: visitors from pragmatic marketing

If you've just finished reading my article in October's Pragmatic Marketing newsletter and have decided to pay a visit, welcome. You may skip the next line.

If you have not read that article, please refer to the link above, then come back.

For your amusement and edification I have made it easy for you to find what you want here at ack/nak. Simply use the tags found on the upper right hand side of the page, relax with a delicious beverage and your choice of snacks, and enjoy.

the tyranny: of twitter

SET RANT_ALERT=ON

True story: Since I started "tweeting", my blog output has sunk to an all-time low.  All Time Low, I tell you!

Yet during the same period my tweet-rate has increased.  Increased!  

Am I proud of this?  Buh no.

Do I think that tweeting has the same nutritive value as blogging?  Buh no.

And yet.  It offers a poke to the pleasure center of the brain that blogging does not - specifically, it focuses the mind to be expressive in 140 characters.  It's fast.  Oh, so very fast.  Hit the update button and shaZAMM, you've blurted 140 characters of erudition at all of your followers.

Instant gratification ho!  

Why wait for your loyal readers to wander by your blog and tediously shamble their way through your latest article when you can submit them to an episode of id gavage.

When I'm writing here, 140 characters doesn't buy you much.  I can't get out of bed in 140 characters.

And yet, I have been tweeting.  Quite a lot, at least by my standards.

And in the course of doing so I've learned two simple lessons: you can't create and sustain a narrative thread in 140 characters.  And it's really hard to establish a relationship with readers 140 characters at a time.

So here's the challenge.  In a world in which the tyranny of Twitter is compressing attention spans in inverse proportion to the volume of messages assaulting those newly-compressed attention spans, what can one do to adapt?

Well, we can settle for reducing complex concepts and thoughts into fortune cookie-length declarative statements, like "product managers must lead" and "it's important to be nice".

Or, we can agree that Twitter has its uses.  And like all good tools, it should be used for what it is good at.  Not more.

The bottom line:  I apologize for my drop in ack/nak posts. I've learned there are a lot of things I can't express 140 characters at a time. So I won't try.

I look forward to sharing them with you here, even if I end up reducing complex concepts and thoughts into fortune cookie-length declarative sentences.  The difference is that over here, they're short by choice, not by design.

And I promise to use whatever "influence" I gain for good, not evil.  You're not so much followers as fellow travelers, and I value being on the road with you.

news: product management pulse interview

The nice people over at the Product Management Pulse interviewed me a week or so ago - you can enjoy the interview here. And welcome to everyone discovering ack/nak for the first time care of the Product Management Pulse.

The podcast references a lot of the topics we've been discussing here over the years - if there are specific ideas you'd like to explore in more detail, let me know in the comments.

lexisnexis: product management job opening

LexisNexis Product Management Job Description

Basic Job Function:

This position is responsible for owning a product or substantial modular portion of a CRM enterprise software product, and driving the definition and execution of product plans from vision, requirements, and initial design through market launch and rollout. The position cultivates new product ideas through market research and analysis, and evaluates the market potential of these ideas. The position defines and prioritizes product requirements, works with the development team on product creation, and continuously confirms that the planned end result will meet specified requirements. As a product owner, the position must also be a representative expert for the rest of the organization on the product, and must ensure that all departments are prepared for successful product delivery and go-to-market readiness.

Accountabilities:

1. Create and implement product vision, direction, and business plans, including product plans, product migration and evolution, and product life cycle and retirement.

2. Develop conceptual and evolutionary product plans that meet business objectives through a comprehensive long-term vision for the product and its ongoing fit within target markets. This includes performing business analysis and evaluating revenue potential, and identifying and assessing business opportunities and determining strategic fit conditioned by technical feasibility.

3. Gather, validate, and evaluate product/market requirements through market and customer research, trend analysis, sales win/loss analysis, competitive and product research. Develop requirements specifications for assigned product features to include modular scalable architecture, effective product and user interface design, conceptual design, product validation testing, and usability testing, while ensuring that the product strategy is adhered to throughout the product life cycle.

4. Develop and deliver materials to the appropriate marketing and sales organizations which convey the purpose and details of the product, definition of its user, benefits to the customer, customization capabilities, and competitive comparison.

5. Manage the ongoing life cycle responsibilities for businesses products.

6. Collaborate on appearance and function of new products.

7. Evaluate new functionality that should be applied to existing products.

8. Monitor the release process and placement of new products or enhancements in a release.

For more information, dear reader, please contact John Cray, Director, Product Management at LexisNexis InterAction, using any of the following "communication modalities":

john.cray@lexisnexis.com

2000 Clearwater Drive, Suite 100
Oak Brook, Illinois 60523

630.572.1400 main
630.371.4538 direct
630.572.1818 fax

picture: the frozen chicago river

The last time I saw the Chicago River freeze was February 8, 2007. And whaddya know, I took a picture of it then too. For the record, it was much colder today than it was then. Much.

UPDATE: Adam, this picture was taken facing north from the eastern end of the Madison Street Bridge, just west of Wacker Drive. In the distance you can see the Boeing HQ, and on the right the massive box that is the Lyric Opera Building. The bridge you can see is the Washington Street Bridge.

list: 10 swell gift ideas

Proot Records.  Free record label from France.  Download their most recent efforts, then download the rest.  I can't get enough of their stuff.

Fuji Instax 7s.  A worthy successor to the Polaroid Instamatic.  Take instant pictures on business card-sized film and hand them to surprised onlookers.  You could shell out $130 for the camera at Urban Outfitters, or roll the dice on eBay for much less.  Don't forget to buy the film.

Midori Traveler's Notebook.  This is the notebook you'd expect to see Indiana Jones writing in at a sidewalk cafe in Tangiers.  Sure, it lacks the cool polish of the Filofax or the easy portability of a Moleskine wrapped in a custom Gfeller leather cover, but it's big enough to hold your airline tickets, takes all manner of custom inserts, and is unlike anything you've ever used.

Flemish Primitive Wild Ale.  This is remarkable stuff.  "For centuries, wild Brettanomyces yeast floating on the open air in Flanders has fermented the local brew, producing a fruity and complex farmhouse character that aficionados recognize as distinctly Belgian. Here, several strains of Brettanomyces have been matched with rich, golden malt and a generous helping of local hops to yield a hearty, earthy, yet very refreshing brew."  Be warned, this is not Miller or Bud.  Think "sour" and "refreshing" and "funky".

Korg DS-10 Synthesizer.  It's a Korg synth!  It's a Nintendo DS game!  It works!

Scalextric PEUGEOT 908 HDI FAP Test car.   If you can buy one and only one slot car in 2009, give this one a long, hard stare.  But not too long, because that's, you know, weird.

Steim Cracklebox.  It's cheap - $64 plus shipping - and it makes the music of the universe.  Sweet, sweet static.

Subatomic Particle Plush Toys.  For the little Higgs Boson hunter in your life.

Shruti Box.  If you're a singer - and gosh knows you are - then you need a nice steady drone to accompany your a cappella excesses.  Employing the same pneumatic principle as an accordion, the shruti box creates a hypnotic drone that can be customized by fiddling with one or more of the little flippy bits that make up the chromatic scale on the side of the box.  

Live Crawfish.  You want to boil them with the spices.  You want to drain them and dump them out on the newspapers you've laid out on the picnic table out back.  You want to pinch the tails and suck the heads.  You know you do.  But you need live ones first.  These guys sell them.  Voila, mon cher, vas-y.

winner: best blue cheese ever

Crema de Blue from Valley Shepherd Creamery in Long Valley, NJ.  

Described as "addictive and dangerous" by its makers, it is a cave aged Blue made from raw mixed milk and is my candidate for best blue cheese.  Ever.

It lacks the up-front acidity of many blues but still has that palpable blue tang you're looking for.  It has a more sophisticated flavor than you'd expect from something just one step short of a triple-creme (a la Explorateur).  

But So Sorry, you have to go to the creamery to buy it, since they won't ship it to you. Hmm. Your other choice is to stumble across them at a local farmers market and trust they still have some left. Best you just go there.

For your convenience, here is a map.

My stars, it is crazy good. Better than a true-blood Roquefort, better than Maytag, better than Cabrales (new or aged).

In fact, I'll go so far as to say it is superior to all of the blue cheeses featured on the cover of culture magazine this month - Roquefort, Mountain Gorgonzola, Monte Enebro,  Oregonzola, Point Reyes Blue, Valdeon and Roaring Forties.

It Is That Good. And yes, there is now a magazine dedicated to cheese. You can buy it at Borders.

And when you do get some, make sure to share it.

Photo courtesy of Valley Shepherd Creamery.

NOTE - I have had about three of the blue cheeses on this list - see how many you've tasted.

announcement: the bob swami show

It's live today for you to enjoy, share with your friends, lather, rinse, repeat.

The Bob Swami Show

news: ack/nak added to alltop + reader feedback

I got a nice note from Guy Kawasaki this morning with the news that ack/nak has been added to the Alltop product management page.

"What's Alltop? And why are you telling us this?"

You can learn what Alltop is all about here.

"You still haven't explained why you're telling us this."

That's easy. I'm delighted to have ack/nak considered in the same company as those other Much More Serious Product Management blogs. It's a nice little ego boost for a Monday morning.

"Your blog got added to an aggregation page. Don't get all frothy. Besides, who knows what it will look like when they get enough traffic to get sponsors, it'll be a nightmare of dancing shadows and free iPod offers."

Don't get frothy? That's tough talk coming from a phantom voice.

"Ummmm. . . ."

And that's also no way to talk about a start-up. It has an old-school Yahoo feel to it, as opposed to all those other "pile links on a page based on what a spider tells you". It looks like it's created by people who pick a topic and then select what blogs get associated with it. From a product management perspective, it's a perfectly good product idea that addresses an unmet need with a nice, clean interface and a sound idea of how to communicate with contributors.

"I guess you're right."

Of course I'm right. Now what do you say to Mr. Kawasaki?

". . . ."

I didn't hear you.

"Sorry Mr. Kawasaki."

That's better. You don't want him showing up at your house with a hockey stick.

"Heavens no."

stand by: home computer down

Modern computers have two parts that remain in constant motion while powered on - the fan, and the hard drive.

Guess which one failed on me late last week.

Thank goodness we had the "Apple Care" plan or I'd be shelling out cash for a replacement drive on top of the labor costs of removing the old one and installing the new.

As I am uncomfortable writing from work (where I am supposed to be, you know, working) I will beg your forgiveness as you endure this extended period of radio silence.

I wonder what a great big solid state drive would cost. . . hmm.

michael brown: "we need more manhattan projects"

I knew what he was trying to say on this morning's Today Show.  He wanted to make the point that we need more private sector "big projects" in this country that benefit from streamlined bureaucratic processes in the interest of achieving big goals, such as re-building New Orleans.

But when Michael Brown, former FEMA Director, tried to make this point to Hoda Kotb by saying. . .

We need more Manhattan Projects.

. . .I don't think that was the sort of example he should have used.  

Or was it?  As Oscar Wilde said, "The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about."  And whaddya know, here I am talking about him.  Mission Accomplished.

It wasn't even a private-sector project. It was a. . . well, we all know what it was.

You can visit Michael "Heck of a job Brownie" Brown on the web at The Michael Brown Blog where "you have the right to speak your mind."  So show Mr. Brown some love and leave him some comments.  It is, after all, your right.

read: developer job opening

Hows this for an interesting job description? I'm surprised the hiring manager didn't offer candy and wax lips. . .oh, hold it, they do mention sweet snacks. Drat.


Anyhoo, if you are a developer interested in working in SanFran, can code in Rails and are Scrum-friendly, drop me a note and I'll tell you more. Wait a sec, I'll do better than that, I'll give you the contact information so you can apply for this fine job before some other snack- and cash-loving smarty gets to it first.

Because if they hire you I get a ham. It's the standard deal for ack/nak referrals.

Enjoy.

Want to code in Rails, have a blast,....and become wealthy in the process?

[---] is a well-funded start-up located in South Park, San Francisco. We’re building a great consumer service that people will love. We’ve got a great team, and a collaborative environment filled with smart, passionate people.

We are looking for a highly motivated, self-directed full-stack web developer to join our tightly knit team. Experience with Ruby, Rails and Javascript is desirable, but if you have other OO and web programming experience and learn quickly we can get you up to speed. We believe strongly in TDD/BDD and are committed to RSpec and RSpec stories, but as humans we know that 100% code coverage is an ideal, not dogma. On the front end we use Prototype, Scriptaculous, and Low Pro (yes, we know jQuery is the one our mother wishes we had married). On the back end we use MySQL, AWS and SQS. In the middle, of course, is Rails (currently 2.1.0, we're up to date, but not so edgy as to use Edge).

We manage our process using Scrum. We do our best to limit overhead, protect developers from distractions, and keep the focus on making a great product from top to bottom. You'll have the opportunity to work on a wide variety of projects. The engineering team does a comprehensive code review at the end of each sprint, so you will benefit from our experience and we from yours.

Developers have pride of place in our Victorian office near South Park with a sunny "Dev Parlor" in front and a couch-filled "Conference Parlor" in the back. Our office manager keeps our larder stocked with fruit, sweet & salty snacks, and sodas. We have mastered the subtleties of brewing Blue Bottle coffee, which we keep in plentiful supply. We also mix it up by spending some days teleworking at home or in cafes, as suits the needs of our individual team members.

piling on: rielle hunter on 23/6 video

As I am one of those quaint old-fashioned fellows who thinks that adultery is the ultimate betrayal and that adulterers deserve every bit of misery that life can throw their way, here's a funny bit of "piling on" the 23/6 people prepared for your enjoyment.

Oh, and now it seems that Mr. Edwards - while professing never-ending love and devotion for his wife ("who was in remission at the time") - brought his gal-pal on his 2006 presidential announcement tour (props to Scoble for scoring the photos and then for going back over them with his jeweler's loup). I'm stunned to think that this guy knew all of this - and still convinced people to contribute their time and money to his campaign. And in case you think that "his private life is private" and trot out rationalizations like "JFK diddled around" and "FDR had gal-pals" and "Taft had a pet duck he seemed to spend too much time with", let me offer the following:

Character colors everything. Give me a man or woman of character and I will forgive them a lack of experience, a lack of intelligence, even a lack of understanding. Because a man or woman of good character will be acknowledge their lacks, seek to remedy them, and make good use of what they learn.

I don't expect people to be perfect, especially politicians who live in a world of unrelenting equivocation and compromise. But I expect them - I demand them - to be people of good character.

And when they're not. . . this is what they having coming.

oh my: oh my

Video care of Talking Points Memo

Oh, and some more:

review: beijing 2008 olympic games opening ceremonies

Wow.

edwards: you can leave your hat on + it's money I love

Because adultery is a sin unlike any other, I offer the following to Mr. John Edwards:

Baby, take off your coat...(real slow)
Baby, take off your shoes...(here, Ill take your shoes)
Baby, take off your dress
Yes, yes, yes
You can leave your hat on
You can leave your hat on
You can leave your hat on

Go on over there and turn on the light...no, all the lights
Now come back here and stand on this chair...thats right
Raise your arms up in to the air...shake em
You give me a reason to live
You give me a reason to live
You give me a reason to live

Suspicious minds are talking
Trying to tear us apart
They say that my love is wrong
They dont know what love is

+

I don't love the mountains
And I don't love the sea
And I don't love Jesus
He never done a thing for me
I ain't pretty like my sister
Or smart like my dad
Or good like my mama

It's Money That I Love
It's Money That I Love

They say that's money
Can't buy love in this world
But it'll get you a half-pound of cocaine
And a sixteen-year old girl
And a great big long limousine
On a hot September night
Now that may not be love
But it is all right

One, two
It's Money That I Love
Wanna kiss you
Three, four
It's Money That I Love

Used to worry about the poor
But I don't worry anymore
Used to worry about the black man
Now I don't worry about the black man
Used to worry about the starving children of India
You know what I say about the starving children of India ?

I say, "Oh mama"

It's Money That I Love
It's Money That I Love
It's Money That I Love
They dont know what love is
They dont know what love is
They dont know what love is
I know what love is

(lyrics by Randy Newman)

spotted: sasquatch cheeto

list: 10 creative in-flight revenue opportunities

With JetBlue's announcement today that they would sell a pillow and blanket set for $7 on flights of two hours or more, the airlines have completely exhausted the most likely set of in-flight revenue opportunities.

What follows is a list of 10 more "creative" opportunities for airlines to monetize their customers. Exact pricing is left to the discretion of the airlines. I can make recommendations if desired.

10. Snake-free Seating - for an extra $x the airline will seat passengers in a "snake-free section" of the plane that is guaranteed to be free from snakes.

9. Biohazard-free Seatback Pockets - for an extra $x the airline will fumigate and clean the seatback pocket in front of you, removing any accreted landfill built up by previous inhabitants of your seat.

8. Emergency Air Mask Policy - for an extra $x the airline will provide passengers with a guarantee that in case of depressurization the airmask that descends will actually work.

7. Service Cart Derby - for an extra $x a member of the in-flight staff will push a service cart into a passenger you designate. For an extra $x the airline will not reveal who paid the in-flight staff to do this.

6. Turn off the Baby - for an extra $x the airline will guarantee that the music you're listening to will not be randomly replaced by the sound of a screaming baby.

5. Turn off Coldplay - see #6.

4. The "No Sudden Dive" Collection Plate - for an extra $x per passenger, up to a pre-set dollar threshhold for the flight, the pilot of your plane agrees not to put the plane into an unannounced dive and subsequent climb at any point during the flight. Encourages team building among passengers.

3. Toilet Paper Vending Machines - for $x the airline will sell you an individualized package of toilet tissue. For an extra $x the airline will sell you an individualized package of toilet tissue that does not dissolve on contact with human flesh. Flight attendants can make change. . . for a minimal exchange fee.

2. Turn off the Magnets - for $x the airline will turn off the magnets in your seat-back tray. Great for laptop users.

1. The Pre-Flight Bake - for $x the airline will turn on the air conditioning at your seat, replacing the stream of stinky warm air that normally issues from the nozzle above you.


If you have any other great ideas for airlines, let me know.

roll to hit: mccain vs the new york times UPDATED

"If the shareholders of The New York Times ever wonder why the paper's ad revenue is plummeting and its share price tanking, they need look no further than the hysterical reaction of the paper's editors to any slight, real or imagined, against their preferred candidate," said McCain campaign spokesman Michael Goldfarb.

Goldfarb compared the editors to a blogger "sitting at home in his mother's basement and ranting into the ether between games of Dungeons & Dragons."

START TRANSCRIPT

Dramatis Personae (see UPDATE below for comments on race and class names):

DM=Dungeon Master
P1=Player 1 [Hobbit Thief]
P2=Player 2 [Half-elf Fighter/Magic-User]
P3=Player 3 [Human Barbarian]

DM: "OK, you're standing outside the door."

P1: "I check for traps."

(sound of rolling dice)

DM: "The hobbit thief detects a trap."

P1: "Schwing!"

P2: "While Short Round is clipping the red wire, I'll scan for secret doors."

P1: "Don't 'Short Round' me, you butt-f____r."

P3: "Speaking of butt-f_____g, can I get rid of this 10-foot pole?"

P2: "Stop whining."

DM: "It's going to take a few rounds for Short. . .the thief to defeat the trap, and about the same amount of time for the window-dresser to poke at the walls. What is the barbarian going to do?"

P3: "Oh, I don't know, maybe quote Derrida or Rimbaud."

P1: "I didn't know you had that skill."

P3: "It was a bonus feat I picked up the last time I levelled-up."

P2: "Cool. What does it let you do?"

P3: "I can shout imprecations and general bulls__t in a grandiose and generally ineffectual way."

P1: "That sucks balls, man. You chose that over Great Fortitude or Great Cleave?"

P3: "Actually, the feat is called Bullheaded. It means I am exceptionally headstrong and difficult to sway, and I get a +1 on all Will saves and +2 bonus on Intimidate checks."

P2: "That could actually come in handy, you don't get squat for Will saves and since you looove to use Intimidate that should help."

P1: "I'm not sure I'm looking for mental acuity in a barbarian, to be fair."

DM: "Trap defeated. You managed to salvage some vials of poison gas, you want to keep them?"

P1: "No way, last time I did that I sat on them in a bar and nearly killed everyone."

DM: "Yes, I remember. That was pretty f____g funny."

P1: "So. . . nice try. I leave them where they are."

P2: "Any secret doors?"

DM: "How far down the corridor were you planning on going?"

P2: "Oh, I don't know, maybe 20 feet?"

DM: "Three more rounds"

P3: "While we're waiting for The Great Wall Fondler to find his door to nowhere, what are you guys planning on writing about this Rick Davis 'race card' thing?"

P1: "I got a draft in to Andy (Rosenthal) this morning that makes a connection between McCain, Howard Ford and O.J. I found a Robert Shapiro quote that makes it sound like McCain's crew are reading from their playbook."

P3: "Money!"

DM: "Thanks for getting that to me, by the way. I'm going to run it as-is."

P1: "Thanks."

P2: "You looped in O.J.?  Dude, that's not right."

P1: "Not right? It's 346 words of absolutely f_____g right. What the f__k do Britney and Paris have to do with this election? For that matter, what does Moses have to do with it?  These guys are going bat-s__t crazy and it's time we called their tactics for what they are."

P3: "What it is is retail politics 101, make the election a referendum on the other guy."

DM: "Full marks to Conan here."

P3: "John's got no other choice. It's going to be guerilla war from now until November, anything Barry says is going to get the full metal jacket treatment. It's a good strategy. When and if we call him on it, he'll savage us as a bunch of hysterical lefties sitting at home in my mother's basement, ranting into the ether between games of Dungeons & Dragons."

P2: "Any secret doors?"

DM: "No secret doors."

P1: "Sucker."

END TRANSCRIPT

Next time on "The New York Times Editorial Board Plays D&D in One of their Mom's Basement":

DM: "There are four kobolds in the room playing canasta."

P3: "I charge in and kill them all."

P2: "I check for secret doors."

P1: "I hide in shadows and backstab."

DM: "How are you going to backstab kobolds if they're facing each other?"

P1: "Quickly."

(Photo of Andrew Rosenthal, New York Times Editorial Page Editor and World-Class DM by Fred R. Conrad for the New York Times [source])

UPDATE: I am aware that some readers who are especially familiar with the rules to the various editions of Dungeons & Dragons and Advanced Dungeons & Dragons have objected to the melange of rules reflected in the transcribed dialog above, as evidenced by their comments.

First of all, thank you for your comments, and welcome to all Boing Boing readers.

To readers who object to the non-canonical use of titles and rules, all I can say is that while I know that AD&D 4th edition has: Halflings, not Hobbits; Rogues, not Thieves; Wizards, not Magic-Users; and Fighters, not Barbarians (at least as of the publication of the first AD&D 4th ed Players Handbook), I am also sure the gentlemen whose game session was partially transcribed here probably knew this as well.  They are, after all, in the business of reading.

But being gentlemen of a "certain age", they probably began playing the game back in the era of Chainmail and the three soft-cover D&D books that came in the white box.  These gentlemen probably stayed vaguely current with the game over the years, selecting those elements of the rules that they liked and rejecting those they did not, always with an eye to enjoying a good game without particular interest in rules orthodoxy.

These gentlemen probably always called Halflings Hobbits, always thought of the spell-slinger as a Magic-User (since Wizard was the title of a level 11 Magic-User, not the name of the class), and preferred the drama of a Barbarian over the generic title of a Fighter.

Certainly no offense was intended, and I hope no offense taken, by users who prefer a more rigid view of the rules and adopt them in toto as opposed to on an ad hoc basis.  After all, it is a transcription.  I suggest sending a note to the Editorial Page.