challenge: burn through a grand

Here is the challenge: you have been handed $1,000 in cash that you must spend in the next 24 hours.  You must spend this money on frivolous crap - no "I'll put it in the bank" or "I think I'll pay down debt" or "maybe I'll just give it to the wife".

No, my friend, this grand is for you.

It is a more difficult challenge than you would imagine.

Faced with a moment of bald-faced consumerism, it's easy to spend $100.  And it's curiously easy to spend $10,000.  But it's hard to spend just a grand.

What's on your list?

hack: dora's bad hair day

Story: After a vigorous evening of caroling we repaired to the neighbor's house for pizza, beer and assorted cookies.  While the "adults" were upstairs talking, the "kids" were downstairs doing whatever it is that kids do when they are downstairs.  One of their activities turned out to be giving the Dress Up Dora toy a "makeover" using a pair of scissors, something sticky and a brush.  I still haven't figured out what that "something sticky" happened to be, since we fled the premises not too long after this photo was taken.

process: the cobralingus engine

(Hello to visitors from Stephen-Hall.org!)

The Cobralingus Engine was invented by Jeff Noon as a way to transform text through the metamorphiction process.

Unfortunately the website established to demonstrate the Engine has been taken down, leaving few resources for the aspiring operator to explore. Complicating the situation is the difficulty of finding a copy of the book - it had a very small print run, and now commands prices approaching $200.

An article on everything.com had this to say about the Cobralingus Engine:

One might argue "Why not just write what you want to write without bothering with this "engine" business?" Well, that might be a good answer for someone who is creative all the time, and always knows exactly what their creation should and will be. For the other 97% of us, though, constraints make creativity come easier, and make getting past a block in creative flow faster. Also, use of the engine lets the reader see all of the steps between inspiration and final work, which themselves can be beautiful and enlightening. In Noon's own words, "... it is hoped that each interim text will be of individual interest; however, the real pleasure of Cobralingus comes from enjoying the pieces as a whole. From inlet to outlet, the journey is the goal."

Loyal ack/nak readers will know I am a fan of creative tools, such as the venerable Oblique Strategies deck. I've used the Engine in the past to help me unlock my right brain through the application of left-brain tools - you take a bit of text or story and subject it to a variety of "filter gates" that modify the text in different ways.

The idea is to apply the filter gates and "see what happens".  

If you'd like to randomize the process of applying the Engine to your text, try this - roll a 20-sided die (you have at least one in the house, admit it) to determine how many filters you will apply between START/INLET and SAVE, then roll the d20 again to select each filter gate.  Repeat until you reach the filter maximum or roll a "natural 20" that pipes the text to OUTPUT, which triggers a SAVE.

Cobralingus Engine Filter Gates

A. START
Denotes that the Cobralingus device has been activated.

B. INLET
The start-up text. The initial signal on which the device will act.

1. CONTROL
Brings the text down to earth. Forces language to behave itself.

2. DECAY
Gently breaks down the text. Dissipates. Introduces corruption to the signal.

3. DRUG
Injects artificial stimulant into the language. Type of drug will always be specified.

4. ENHANCE
Creates elements of beauty.

5. EXPLODE
Breaks up signal into highly disordered fragments. To be used with caution.

6. FIND STORY
Forces text into the nearest possible narrative, however nonsensical.

7. GHOST EDIT
Kills the text. Calls up a ghost to haunt the language.

8. HOLD
Temporarily halts the Cobralingus process. [NOTE - This gives the author an opportunity to make modifications to the text independently of filter gate instructions.]

9. INCREASE SENSE
Significantly enhances text. Increases readability.

10. MIX
Combines all elements into a single entity.

11. OVERLOAD
Drastically increases image density of text. To be used with caution.

12. PLAY GAME
Mischief maker. Encourages craziness. Results may surprise the user.

13. PURIFY
Loses deadwood. Selects images or phrases from the text.

14. RANDOMISE
Disorders text. Parts of text may be lost or changed.

15. RELEASE VIRUS
Attacks text, changing words of choice into others of a similar sound. Recommended for advanced users.

16. SAMPLE
Introduces new element to signal. Source of sample to be specified.

17. SEARCH & REPLACE
Uses machine function to introduce new elements to text. Elements always specified. For example, ‘Search and Replace: day with night.’

18. BABEL [LANGUAGE] New!
Runs the text through the Babelfish translation engine into the specified language then back again. Clearing out left-over foreign words is optional.  See below for example.

19. CLUTTER New!
Elaborate and extend text.

20. OUTLET
The final result of the filtering process. [NOTE - Triggers an early SAVE]

C. SAVE
Denotes that the Cobralingus device has been deactivated.

Source: Cobralingus by Jeff Noon (Codex Books, 2001) with two additions to assist d20 randomization

Examples of DRUG filter gate from Cobralingus

ANAGRAMETHANE

FECUNDAMOL

METAPHORAZINE

SIMILEUM

ETYMOL

New Examples of DRUG filter gate

AMPLIFON
Increases the urgency and energy of the text.

SOMNAMBULOL

Decreases the urgency and energy of the text.

DECHRONIZOL
Processes the text into the style and vocabulary in use 50 years ago. Multiple applications possible.  Thanks Sam Magruder!

DECIMATRAZIL
Remove every tenth word.

HOMONYMETHANOL

Replace all words with valid homonyms.

ALLITERATIL

Sentences trend towards use of words with same starting letter.

Example

START

INLET 

One might argue "Why not just write what you want to write without bothering with this "engine" business?" Well, that might be a good answer for someone who is creative all the time, and always knows exactly what their creation should and will be. For the other 97% of us, though, constraints make creativity come easier, and make getting past a block in creative flow faster. Also, use of the engine lets the reader see all of the steps between inspiration and final work, which themselves can be beautiful and enlightening. In Noon's own words, "... it is hoped that each interim text will be of individual interest; however, the real pleasure of Cobralingus comes from enjoying the pieces as a whole. From inlet to outlet, the journey is the goal."

BABEL FRENCH

One has could discuss the "Why not simply write what you want to write without worrying with this "engine" businesses?" Well, it could be an good answer for quelqu'un which is creator a l'heure, and knows always exactly what them creation would owe and will be.  For l'autre 97% of us, although, the constraints make the creativity come easier, and made obtaining after a block in faster creative flow. Moreover, use of the engine lets the reader see all the stages between inspiration and final work, themselves can be beautiful and lighting. In Noon have words, " ... one hopes that each temporary text will be individual interest; however, the true pleasure of Cobralingus comes to appreciate the pieces in general. Of admission at the exit, the voyage is the goal."

BABEL DUTCH

DRUG: DECIMATRAZIL

INCREASE SENSE

CONTROL

Why not write?  You want to write, but it is a worry-making engine.  You want to be able to have a good answer, one that produces by the hour, as the establishment wills. For 97% of our obligations come easily, a block-system of creative runaways.  The reader sees inspiration and the definite work, a beautiful reduction, the words.  One hopes each text will be important.  However, truth is the pieces have assessed pleasure, admission is the output, the goal.

Any of you care to apply a filter gate to increment the Engine one more step? 

test: can you watch this without laughing

list: 10 swell gift ideas

Proot Records.  Free record label from France.  Download their most recent efforts, then download the rest.  I can't get enough of their stuff.

Fuji Instax 7s.  A worthy successor to the Polaroid Instamatic.  Take instant pictures on business card-sized film and hand them to surprised onlookers.  You could shell out $130 for the camera at Urban Outfitters, or roll the dice on eBay for much less.  Don't forget to buy the film.

Midori Traveler's Notebook.  This is the notebook you'd expect to see Indiana Jones writing in at a sidewalk cafe in Tangiers.  Sure, it lacks the cool polish of the Filofax or the easy portability of a Moleskine wrapped in a custom Gfeller leather cover, but it's big enough to hold your airline tickets, takes all manner of custom inserts, and is unlike anything you've ever used.

Flemish Primitive Wild Ale.  This is remarkable stuff.  "For centuries, wild Brettanomyces yeast floating on the open air in Flanders has fermented the local brew, producing a fruity and complex farmhouse character that aficionados recognize as distinctly Belgian. Here, several strains of Brettanomyces have been matched with rich, golden malt and a generous helping of local hops to yield a hearty, earthy, yet very refreshing brew."  Be warned, this is not Miller or Bud.  Think "sour" and "refreshing" and "funky".

Korg DS-10 Synthesizer.  It's a Korg synth!  It's a Nintendo DS game!  It works!

Scalextric PEUGEOT 908 HDI FAP Test car.   If you can buy one and only one slot car in 2009, give this one a long, hard stare.  But not too long, because that's, you know, weird.

Steim Cracklebox.  It's cheap - $64 plus shipping - and it makes the music of the universe.  Sweet, sweet static.

Subatomic Particle Plush Toys.  For the little Higgs Boson hunter in your life.

Shruti Box.  If you're a singer - and gosh knows you are - then you need a nice steady drone to accompany your a cappella excesses.  Employing the same pneumatic principle as an accordion, the shruti box creates a hypnotic drone that can be customized by fiddling with one or more of the little flippy bits that make up the chromatic scale on the side of the box.  

Live Crawfish.  You want to boil them with the spices.  You want to drain them and dump them out on the newspapers you've laid out on the picnic table out back.  You want to pinch the tails and suck the heads.  You know you do.  But you need live ones first.  These guys sell them.  Voila, mon cher, vas-y.

winner: best blue cheese ever

Crema de Blue from Valley Shepherd Creamery in Long Valley, NJ.  

Described as "addictive and dangerous" by its makers, it is a cave aged Blue made from raw mixed milk and is my candidate for best blue cheese.  Ever.

It lacks the up-front acidity of many blues but still has that palpable blue tang you're looking for.  It has a more sophisticated flavor than you'd expect from something just one step short of a triple-creme (a la Explorateur).  

But So Sorry, you have to go to the creamery to buy it, since they won't ship it to you. Hmm. Your other choice is to stumble across them at a local farmers market and trust they still have some left. Best you just go there.

For your convenience, here is a map.

My stars, it is crazy good. Better than a true-blood Roquefort, better than Maytag, better than Cabrales (new or aged).

In fact, I'll go so far as to say it is superior to all of the blue cheeses featured on the cover of culture magazine this month - Roquefort, Mountain Gorgonzola, Monte Enebro,  Oregonzola, Point Reyes Blue, Valdeon and Roaring Forties.

It Is That Good. And yes, there is now a magazine dedicated to cheese. You can buy it at Borders.

And when you do get some, make sure to share it.

Photo courtesy of Valley Shepherd Creamery.

NOTE - I have had about three of the blue cheeses on this list - see how many you've tasted.

test: character is what you are in the dark

This is a post I've written, re-written, left as a draft and abandoned for weeks at a time.

(My last attempt?  August 17, 2008!)

This is a post I keep returning to over and over because I think this is something important, something essential, to the well-being and success of product managers that merits discussion.

The challenge is that it always comes out sounding like common sense. 

So I'll just come out and say it. Well, I'll just let Dwight Moody say it.

Character is what you are in the dark.

It's something I look for in people on my team, and that I try to find in myself, for better or for worse.  And I'm not just talking about "character" in the classic sense, but in a more comprehensive way.

Are you someone who wants to please?  Who needs to be right?  Who loves crowds?  Who hates them?

Someone who prefers silence, or noise?  Who is comfortable with uncertainty?

What are the lenses through which you see opportunity, risk, loss and reward?

What can I anticipate you to presume about a given situation?  What is your "tare weight"?

I think we're all interesting for our faults, not just for our virtues.  So let's talk about them openly, not just as part of some performance improvement plan, but to see how we all fit together.  

There, done.   This post will never be what I want it to be, but I guess that's how it's going to be.

thought: making decisions (happen)

As part of my "creative project" I've been talking to a lot of people lately, including a bunch of young product managers. When asked "why did you want to become a product manager" I've been learning that in addition to "meeting girls" it was because "they wanted to be the decision maker when it came to product features and direction".

Uh oh.

Discovering that the product manager isn't the source of product features or direction is one of those life lessons they just have to learn for themselves.

(It's not a great way to meet women either, but that's beside the point.)

In fact, distinguishing between "making decisions" and "making decisions happen" is the difference between good product managers and great ones.

"Holy crap, Bob, you take months off from posting to ack/nak to do your Bob Swami thing then you come back with a monster of a generalization like this? Have you lost your mind?"

Nope.

We've all heard - or at least those of use who have studied at the feet of such luminaries as Jim Foxworthy and Steve Johnson - that our opinions, while interesting, are irrelevant.

We've all learned that our job is to help our firms solve problems that are pervasive, urgent and which people are willing to spend money to fix.

And we've all learned that our job is to be the "messenger of the marketplace" to the company.

These are all True and Good.

But let's consider the following scenario - having gathered information, having assessed priorities and defined capabilities required to meet market needs - the product manager has one of two choices:

1. Present the information as "here is what we need to do".
2. Present the information as "here are our choices".

See the difference?

"No."

You're not looking closely enough.

"Here is what we need to do" says that the product manager has evaluated all of the inputs and is presenting a course of action.

"Here are our choices" says that the product manager has obtained all of the information and is presenting options for action with projected outcomes for each.

It's an attitudinal thing, but the latter is more transparent and collaborative. When people are brought into a decision process, they are typically more compliant with the outcome of that process. You get fewer "I wasn't involved in that decision" complaints and all the associated blocking behaviors when decision-makers are treated like decision-makers - especially executives who have a vested interest in one aspect of product, such as CTOs, CMOs and VPs of Sales, not to mention the technical CEO who still thinks of himself as a developer.

This is not to say that the product manager doesn't come with an opinion. That's expected and necessary.

But the product manager who makes decisions happen is seen as a facilitator and leader, where a product manager who makes decisions is seen as a black box, and black boxes aren't transparent. Nothing creates more confidence than transparency - even when the news is bad, at least everything is on the table.

This whole issue goes to the heart of the product management challenge - to lead you must follow.

As always, let me know what you think. I've been away for a while on other projects, but I've been gratified by the continued traffic to ack/nak and some very gracious links to the site, so I feel responsible to you, dear reader, to keep our conversation going.