I'm living in interesting times.
"Like that Chinese curse?"
What curse is that?
"You know. The ancient Chinese curse. The one that says, you know, may you live in interesting times."
That's a load of crap, it's never been proven to actually be Chinese, and besides, who asked you.
"What's with you and the attitude? For that matter, it's been awfully quiet around here."
Quiet? What about that hedgehog piece last week?
"I saw it on Digg and Boing Boing the same day. No creativity required."
Or the bit on Art-o-Mat?
OK, how about the bit on Starbucks buying Clover? Or the thing about selling to the wrong buyers, that got picked up by a bunch of people.
"So you're batting 2 for 9 like Robinson Cano."
I'm finding I'm getting a lot of satisfaction lately actually doing PM stuff.
Yeah, it's been a lot of fun.
"Now we're talking. When are you going to write about it?"
Write about it?
"Write about it. Here."
What's there to write about?
"You know. Stuff. Wacky adventures. Dodgy processes. Self-incriminating emo rants about emotional leakage and 'practicing your craft' and 'passion is a strong tonic that should be used carefully'. We love that stuff."
Listen, I'm just wrapped up in the doing, not the writing right now.
"Right, right. OK, how about just a little something, then."
"One topic. Something we can noodle over while you're off doing whatever it is you do."
Fine. The product manager's entire job can be boiled down to two syllables. What are they?
No, roadmap. Managing the roadmap process is the single most meaningful thing a PM can do.
"OK. Now, mix in some of that zen stuff."
"Yeah! Bring the 'three jewels of taoism' flavor to it, like a riddle wrapped in a mystery coated with taco sauce."
You're an ass.
"Alright, I'll try. PMs need a roadmap like. . . like. . . fish need bicycles."
Vique is spinning on his longitudinal axis right now.
Go to sleep.