rewind: microwaving a frozen white castle burger

Motivated by the Robert Altman "homage" classic Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle, my wife and I decided that we would bring a sack of sliders to my daughter's T-ball game last Friday night for an impromptu picnic. Since you always end up buying more of the damned things than you could ever possibly eat in one session, the left-overs went into the freezer, still encased in their cardboard sleeves and cozied up into slider-pairs.

Fast-forward to last night when an affliction of the "urge" struck me full-force - and I remembered that I had sliders in the freezer. Lacking any special hidden knowledge of how to release them from their vitrified state, I threw two into the microwave, hit the magic "1" button (for a 1-minute nuke) and crossed my fingers.

Sixty seconds on high (ha ha) later, I had two perfectly hot sliders with warm (but not hot) buns. YMMV, but I could see going anywhere from 45 to 60 seconds with similar success.

Advice: Anything more than 60 seconds and you'd break down the steamed patty and dissolve the onions, leaving you with hot magma and regret. Anything less than 45 seconds and you've probably have a cold wafer of suspiciousness encased between two tepid onion-scented bread handles.

(Originally posted in June of 2006 - I was much funnier then. Parenthood is reducing my mind to something very close to an over-nuked slider.)