Wednesday, March 26, 2008

dvorak: the iphone is no desktop

In a spasm of clarity, John Dvorak has correctly observed that the iPhone is no desktop.

It will take me a few days to try and figure out of there is any deeper message to this article beyond "little portable things are less durable than big stationary things".

It's obvious that the iPhone is no desktop.


The iPhone, she is small, and portable, totalement petite, n'est-ce pas? She does not have a keyboard, or a monitor, or a plug. Spill coffee on her, does she not complain? Drop her in the toilet, does she not sink? Mon Dieu! Vous devez faire attention avec l'iPhone!


By comparison, desktop computers are both coffee- and toilet-resistant. Believe me, I've tried doing in desktops both ways, and it only makes them mad. And damp. Desktop computers have other things going for them. They are gravity-enhanced. They are noisy. They don't look cool when you carry one on your shoulder, like a boom-box.

I can neither confirm nor deny that Mr. Dvorak carries a desktop computer on his shoulder like a boom-box, trailing a very long extension cord, lost in an endless search for a monitor and a keyboard to make his durable, gravity- and toilet-resistant computing experience complete.

In the meantime, iPhone aficionados, detractors and everyone under 25 will pillory him as crank (unless they have [correctly] realized the futility of doing so) for having the temerity to write:

And, yes, the kids are all looking for alternative platforms, but what do kids know? Seriously, what do they know?

Seriously, what do kids know, with their. . . hip-hopscotch music and their. . . baggy clothes and. . . their piercings . . . and no respect. . . why I remember Harold Stassen used to say. . .

Zzzzzzzz zzzzzzzz zzzzzzz zzzzzzz .....

You have to hand it to the man. He can hit deadlines like a champ and he creates controversy, which together are solid gold.

I just wish he'd invest his decades of experience on an article that highlights what the desktop marketplace could learn from the iPhone.

Or perhaps he's left that to us.

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