Tuesday, January 23, 2007

personal: 5 things

After a good hour watching the State of the Union Address what do I find but I've been tagged. By no less greater (sorry Steve) a luminary than Steve Johnson, by gum. When Steve gets his Tag-o-Matic out, golly, you'd better respond.

This particular tag is a conspiracy-meme designed to pry self-reported "facts" out of normally self-effacing, secretive product managers who, curiously, act out in strangely self-aggrandizing, public ways through the irregular publication of "opinions". Fair enough.

And since I am not a fictional character (to my knowledge)(unlike other product managers), I have resolved to share some potentially illuminating but probably self-serving and most likely practically useless observations pertaining to collective embodiment of id, ego and superego that manifests itself (in this incarnation) as me. Fictionally.

Well then. Five Things You Don't Know About Me.

1. I am a Pack Rat. My (long-suffering) (clutter-averse) wife and I have reached a détente of sorts on this: as long as I keep my so-called "files" organized and my "collections" in a discrete "zone" of our "house", we're "OK".

2. I am a good driver, sure in my conviction that Momentum is your Friend, as it Preserves your Options.

3. My business hero is Willy Wonka (Gene Wilder version).

4. I applied to only one college - and in my application, I let them know that I was only applying to one college,"since they were the only college I wanted to go to" and "I had full confidence that I would be accepted". It worked, and collectively this explains an awful lot about me.

5. I can fall asleep near-instantly at night.

Dear reader, what will you do with this new-found knowledge? Are you seething in disappointment? Have I thoroughly shattered your long-kept notions of "the author"?

For you, the angry few, I offer these Alternative Five Facts about Me:

1. I have a detachable hand over which I may retain temporary remote motile influences. In my younger days, this made me very popular on dates. Today, it assists in the retrieval of keys.

2. I can live for an extended period of time on a diet of aphids.

3. I understand the secret language of trees, and I'm tired of listening to them bitch all the time.

4. I am the secret author of the novel Frown and Disgust.

5. I have a small portable shrine to John Hodgeman.

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