Friday, September 22, 2006

list: depression hurts. . .

your dog.

your credit rating.

your mileage.

your odds of being nominated for "Queen of May".

your bitchin' Camaro.

your genetic material.

your mojo.

your Grranimals.

your new Blythe doll with the hand-sewn jacket and boots and totally minty hair.

your sense of smell.

your back-hand smash.

your ability to bluff.

your CPR certification.

your deliciousness.

your Christopher Walken impression.

your Blue Eyes White Dragon deck.

teh 1337 pwnage, noob! (a.k.a "depression sux0rs my nux0rs")

your whole enchilada.

your bling.

your auld granny.

your ding-a-ling.

your ability to recognize marketing.

(To Eli Lilly, makers of Cymbalta: Your ad agency - who I think is GSW Worldwide - should get full credit for working hard on your behalf to find a novel way to push a run-of-the-mill selective serotonin and norepinephrine reuptake inhibitor that just happens to be indicated for the management of diabetic peripheral neuropathic pain. Preying on people with depression is one thing - we all know that the switch rate between SSNRIs and SSRIs is super high, so you're probably just working to get your piece of the action - but trying to draw a causal link between serotonin/norepinephrine imbalance and diabetic peripheral neuropathy is just, well, typical of something an ad agency would think of to win your business. I'm counting the days until you start connecting incontinence with depression. Or perhaps you can pick some of my ideas.)

1 comment:

Ron said...

Don't laugh. As the population ages, and more of them get depressed, I would think incontinence would be only one of many marketing pitches. "Warts? Depressed? Take Damnitol!"

Me, I'm still workin' on my "Virtual Cemetary" idea. Why settle for a slab of stone when 60" Plasma screens come in black?